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Further to yesterday's post, in which I mentioned, one commenter has offered a compelling view of the future based on the shocking evidence that Cipollini has brought to light: Anonymous said. In 500 years time the genderway indifferent Shepollini will not so much be remembered as an ancient pro cyclist, but instead will be revered by the predominate sub species (Homo sapien shemaleien) as the Adam and Eve of their kind. Shepollini will also be regarded by history as the founding fathermother of the distant futures most popular sport: Cyclocrossdressing. Some historians will contend that the practice of cross dressing on bicycles began before the emergence of the Shepollini bloodline during the single speed mountain bike racing era, otherwise known by future academia as 'The Second Dark Age' due to the stagnated and regressed state of cycling at this time, but popular mythology will attest otherwise. When some smug person tells you that cycling is the transport of the future, don't listen. It will in fact be the tranny sport of the future. And I should mention, Shepollini says that wet chain lube is categorically better that dry chain lube, for hair styling.

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Ce December 14, 2010 7:31 AM I have very little reason to doubt that pretty much all of this will ultimately come to pass, and if in 500 years 'the genderway indifferent Shepollini' is in fact not lauded as the founding fathermother of not only a new cycling discipline but also a completely new form of humanity blessed with two sets of genitals, I will eat a Rapha hat. It's amazing to think that when, way back in September of 2008,, the cycling world reeled with disbelief.

'This is the end!,' cried the 'bike culture.' 'Performance selling 'fixies' and quoting some blogger whose 15 minutes ended months ago in order to do it? Surely, the shark has been jumped!'

Little did we all know what would follow: the the; the. (By the way, if you're wondering what happened to my ironic intern, the short version is that I told him he could keep the Walmart bike pending his analysis of it and I never heard from him again, which means he either decided not to follow through with his review, or else he's met with some sort of catastrophe. Either way, he can kiss that BSNYC letter of recommendation goodbye.) In retrospect, Performance's take on the trend seems positively sincere and 'OG' in comparison.

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And here's what it looks like today: Here's the view from the front: And here's a disembodied hand: As you can see, a mere two years in New York can make something look quite defeated and haggard, which goes a long way towards explaining the shattered appearance of all those recent Bard graduates in Williamsburg. For purposes of fit and comfort, I have replaced a number of components with stuff I had lying around--except for the fork, which I was forced to replace after encountering an obstacle in the bike lane and hurtling headlong into the back of a Bud Light truck. The bicycle also had both front and rear brakes until, after which I only bothered to replace one, which is generally sufficient as the bicycle is fixed of gear. (The freewheel that came with the bike made a displeasing rumbling sound.) Speaking of theft, notice that in New York we actually have to chain our saddles to our bikes, which should give you a good idea of the sorry manner in which we're forced to live our lives. Also, here's what happens to a bike after repeated locking with a heavy chain: This is a good thing, because it acts as camouflage--as you can see the bike begins to blend into the background. If you're wondering why to this day so many 'hipsters' and practitioners of 'cycle chic' in New York seem to have such pristine bicycles, it's either because they don't really ride them very much, or because they've only had them for a few weeks and they haven't been stolen yet. One development of note between the inception of the Empire State Courier and our present day is the proliferation of Velcro foot retention straps, arguably inspired by, pioneered in their current form by companies like, and fueled by the continuing growth of 'fixed-gear freestyling,' whose practitioners still refuse to simply ride BMX bikes even as their bicycles grow increasingly more BMX-like by the day.

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